No Good Deed Goes Unpunished
by Bobbie23
Summary: Ever wonder what could've happened if Kathy found out about Elliot bailing Olivia out of Rikers?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer – I don't own** _ **Law and Order: Special Victims Unit**_ **or any of the characters.**

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

Olivia squints as the sun bounces off the white sand. She digs around for her sunglasses in the over-sized canvas bag she brought on a whim at the airport but will never use once she returns to Manhattan. Settling them onto her nose, her eyes adjust to the tinted lenses. She inhales and smells the salty sea. Behind her, palm trees offer comforting shade which she will seek later. Her eyes close as she slips her feet from her flip flops to wriggle her toes in the grains of sand, relishing in the new sensation. The island is so peaceful and a huge contrast to her normal life. Part of her wants to miss her flight home. If only she had that luxury.

Munch closes the filing cabinet behind her with a bang and she's brought back to reality. She blinks as she glances around the squad room furtively to make sure no one witnessed her break from reality. She sighs.

A girl can dream.

Opening her desk draw she slips her new brochures inside, the paper crinkling as the picture perfect destination disappears into the dark recess of her desk. She lifts her head, rolls her neck only for it to click rebelliously. She massages it lightly with one hand as her eyes fall on her partner's empty desk. Elliot mumbled something about hitting the gym over an hour ago. He'd been quiet all day, not just with her but the rest of the team, save for the quick joke he made this morning about not having to partner up with Munch any more. He doesn't like to make small talk, neither is she, but he's been quieter than normal and it's usually a sign that something is wrong. She doesn't want to interfere, but she doesn't want him to ignore it and let it fester as he's prone to do. With the mood he was in she doubted he left the precinct yet, let alone venture home.

Shouldering her bag Olivia pushes away from her desk to stand. "Good night Munch."

"Leaving so early? I was about to impart my insights into the assassination of-"

"I'll see you in the morning, John," Olivia says, rolling her eyes.

"I'll just entertain the night shift then," he calls out as the door swings closed behind her.

She smiles lightly as she continues down the corridor. This end of the precinct is quiet, most of the building have gone home in hopes of some time away from the job before they get called in on the next case. She doubts downstairs is as quiet, doubts the desk sergeant is having a slow night like she is.

Olivia passes the crib, her head turning out of curiosity as she notices the door ajar and one of the lamps on. She stops mid step and cranes her body to peer around the door only to see Elliot lying on the far cot next to the wall. He isn't asleep, his eyes are focused on the bunk above. His hands clasped in an apex across his chest. He's still in his dress shirt and he's taken off his tie. She should keep walking. She really should. But then this was why she was going to find him.

She looks up and down the hallway before pushing the door open and walks in, closing it softly behind her. "I thought you were going to the gym," she starts as she rests her back against the door, pushing it till it clicks closed.

Elliot turns and looks at her before twisting his body to sit up. "I went to get some food instead."

She knows it's a lie, she can smell the faint odour of stale beer but knows he only had one or two, he wouldn't risk coming back here drunk. He probably only left the building long enough for most people to leave for the day so he wouldn't be seen coming back. Less questions and rumours about him sleeping in the crib. "You could've brought me something back."

"I'll remember next time," Elliot promises rubbing his face wearily.

"Why are you sleeping here?"

"Because I can't sleep on the couch at home." His eyes hold hers for a long beat, obviously hoping she won't press for more details. She knows he's embarrassed about any fractures in his marriage, his family, he deems it a failure, thinks others will think the same. After everything they've been through, Elliot knows her better than that. "Kathy found the bond paperwork in my pocket."

Olivia's eyes slide shut. She's grateful for everything he did for her, she surely would have been attacked in Rikers if it weren't for him. She wants to do something, say something to Kathy. She reopens her eyes to find his gaze trained on her face. "I'm sorry Elliot, is there anything I can do?"

Elliot shakes his head. "I'll talk to Kathy in a few days when she's calmed down."

Deflated Olivia pushes off the door and slowly crosses the room to sit on the cot next to his. "This is my fault."

"No, it isn't. Some guy got pissed at you because you put him in prison for attacking women. You did nothing wrong Liv."

"I didn't have to say what I-"

"I'm not going to be mad at you because you talked back to a perp who mouthed off at you. He put those women through hell. He should stop blaming others for his mistakes," he tells her with conviction.

"Yeah, well, he's going down for murder now so he's going to have a lot of time to think about it," Olivia tells him. "So you're going to stay here till you sort things out with Kathy?"

He shrugs. "I don't know. She knows I wouldn't do anything differently if it happened again."

"One hell of a gamble," Olivia replies. He shouldn't have taken the risk with his family's home.

"Nope," he says with confidence. "I'm only sorry that he almost got away with it."

"You could've lost everything," she says softly. She hates the look of defeat and resignation in his eyes. He could have lost everything because of her. There's no point in arguing with him about it, she would've done the same for him, only she didn't have five kids and a spouse to think about. Kathy won't back down easily and she has no idea how Elliot will make this up to her if she ever gives him the chance to. "Did you ever think-"

"Nope," he cuts her off forcefully. "Not for a second."

She stares at him, waits for him to look away. He doesn't and after a long moment she bobs and ducks her head.

"Please tell me you didn't hire Langan as well," Olivia says a minute later as she remembers the lawyer's cryptic reply to her question.

"No," Elliot says innocently. "Well, not just me. Cragen, Fin and Munch helped with that."

There's a pause as they look around the room. She can't leave him here after he risked this for her. Olivia lifts off her cot and picks up her discarded bag, full off false confidence in her idea which will more than likely cause more problems if Kathy ever finds out. "C'mon my fold out is more comfortable than this cot."

"It's okay Liv, you don't need to-"

"I'm not taking no for an answer Elliot," she says as she opens and holds the door as she waits for him. It's the least she can do. "It's just a few days."

"Tops," he promises as he passes her into the hallway. She hopes for his sake it's just a few days.


	2. Chapter 2

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished – chapter two

Olivia sits at her breakfast bar pretending to read the book on her counter as Elliot paces her bedroom while he's on the phone, her small apartment doesn't offer much privacy so he takes what he can get when talking to his children. She's trying not to listen but he's getting louder and more agitated the longer he's in there. With the change of his tone she knows he isn't talking to the kids and his voice is clear as he passes the door.

"Someone was framing Liv." Pause. "I wasn't going to leave her in prison Kathy," he grinds out as if he's said it ten times already while pushing the door further shut. The rest of the words are muffled but his frustration is clear as he continues to argue back and forth with his wife.

Part of her wants to tell him off for thinking he had to save her, like he pities her lonesome existence, for thinking she had no one but him. She is grateful to him for bailing her out. All of her worries had been about her reaction to being locked up, even for a short while. It never crossed her mind that they wouldn't be able to figure out who framed her. She never lost faith in them, in him.

Her eyes move around her apartment and apart from Elliot's jacket hanging on the back of a chair, she can't see any sign of him in her apartment. He's only been there three days and it's weighing heavily on him, especially not seeing his kids or getting the daily recap of their day he would normally get if he went home to Kathy after they went to bed. They've developed a routine without really discussing it. He wakes up before she does, puts his blanket and pillow in the hall closet beside his gym bag then folds away the couch. And he does the reverse after she retreats to her bedroom after a long day and evening of very little conversation. She knows it's his way of distancing himself from the internal punishment he's raging on himself. He rarely asks for anything, rarely makes eye contact after they leave the precinct. He's embarrassed and thinks he's imposing on her. He wanted to reimburse her for electric, water, and food; she refused. But she simply rolled her eyes at him when they came home two nights ago and she found he had stocked her fridge with a few essentials he moaned were missing just over a week ago.

Olivia loses track of time as she waits for Elliot to come out of the bedroom, only notices when he's said anything for a while. She's tempted to check on him but doesn't want him to be more self-conscious than he already is. She doesn't have to because a moment later Elliot opens her door and walks out, glances in her direction without making eye contact.

"How are the kids?"

Elliot clears his throat loudly. "They're alright, Eli asked when I was coming home. I'm going to pick them up after school tomorrow and take 'em out for pizza."

"That's nice," Olivia says brightly. He meets her encouraging gaze, his expression wary and tired despite seeing his kids. Her face drops. "What did Kathy say?" She asks gently, softly.

"That she's leaving."

Elliot says it so simply, his voice free of anger, resentment, and accusations, only acceptance. Olivia wants to reassure him that they could work it out, there has to be a way. She wants to apologise and offer her condolences. She wants to be angry at him for taking a huge gamble.

For her.

And losing what he holds dear.

He moves across the room to half sit, half lean against the stool next to hers. His feet stay on the floor and he clasps his hands in his lap, his head bows forward as he concentrates on them for a moment.

"Talking it over won't do any good," he says lifting his head to look at her surprised face and shrugs one shoulder.

"Did you consider talking to her before you put the house up as bond?"

"Look, it would help if you didn't take her side right now," it comes out harshly, without censor. Olivia shakes her head and starts to slip from her stool when his hand encircles her wrist loosely, she could extract it if she wanted to. She stops and looks at him but says nothing as she tilts her head to the side. His eyes bore into hers, his apology clear. His hand drops and she sits back down. "I'm sorry, Kathy said the same thing."

"I could talk to her," Olivia offers before she can stop herself and she knows she's said the wrong thing when he winces.

"Not the best idea," he mumbles. "She agreed that I did the right thing," he sounds surprised and as confused to be saying it as Olivia is to hear it.

"Then why is she leaving?"

"Because I wouldn't do anything differently, Kathy knows that. I needed to get you out of there as quick as I could, talking to her would've slowed me down." His voice is heavy and void of emotion, he's stating the facts like he's on the stand.

Recriminations won't work on him, especially when they pale in comparison to what he's putting himself through. Condolences won't either, he won't hear them. Before she can think of something to say, Elliot speaks again. "It's not your fault. Kathy and I, it's not just this, it's been…" He trails off before he swallows and she watches his jaw move. "It was inevitable."

She thinks back over the past two and a half years since he moved back. At first everything seemed fine, and Olivia bit her lip whenever she was tempted to ask about how they were doing after the separation. It was a selfish reaction, one for her own preservation. Of course she was curious. She didn't, wouldn't ask, not even after Eli was born, and anything he said was said in public to others when she was around so he wouldn't have to say it directly to her. He didn't throw it in her face, or at least he tried not to. Yes, there were a few cases which caused tension and things were said, but she knew he didn't mean it personally. Last year, the cracks began to appear. Olivia put it down to the stress of what happened with Kathleen, but shortly after Kathy threatened to leave when Elliot put the job before them. They managed to put it behind them and moved on. Or at least that was the impression she got. As usual she never questioned it, never saw through the façade. Till now.

"What are you going to do?"

Again he shrugs and sighs. "Find somewhere to live so I can see my kids someplace other than a restaurant." He trains his eyes on her face, his face furrowing as she doesn't reply. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she lies staring back at him. "You're okay with it," she whispers disbelievingly.

"I wouldn't say that; my marriage is over." Elliot takes a moment to let that sink in. "I just couldn't keep pretending everything was okay when it wasn't. We couldn't keep doing the same thing over and over again. Something had to change."

"And this is the change you want to make?"

For a long second, Elliot considers her question. Olivia can see his mind working as he carefully works out his answer. "I'll always love Kathy, she's the mother of my children, but what we had when we first met isn't there anymore. I don't to drag it out like last time, I don't want to fight again. It's not fair to any of us."


	3. Chapter 3

**Author Note – Spoilers for** ** _PC, Closet_** **and** ** _Monogamy._**

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished – chapter three

A month later Olivia finds herself propping up a bar after catching the serial rapist who targeted the lesbian women in his community. Elliot sits beside, his skin flushing every time she laughs when Bab's sound bites air on the news. The bartender picks up on her delight and keeps it on the news channel.

"She hit on you too," Elliot groans after about an hour as he pays the bartender for the latest round.

"Yeah, but I was quick enough to dodge her when she tried to kiss me," Olivia says as she accepts the bottle Elliot slides towards her. He shakes his head at her, a smile playing on his lips. It's been a while since they've been able to be like this and she's missed it. "First it's a fist, then it's Babs. Maybe you need to get your reflexes checked."

"My reflexes are just fine," he protests.

One elbow rests on the bar, she leans her head on her open palm as she faces him. He's relaxed and his eyes are light as he re-watches the news segment they've seen three times now. She smiles as she remembers him ushering her out of the squad and away from Munch and Fin with the promise of dinner in exchange for her silence. He didn't need to, but it was nice to spend time with him away from work. She hasn't really spoken to him since he moved into his apartment three weeks ago.

"So how's the new apartment?"

Elliot leans against the back rest of his chair and twists his lips into a smirk. "It's alright, the girls want to decorate. Eli wants to climb on everything and Dickie," he muses thoughtfully. "Well, Dickie doesn't care."

"I'm sure he just needs time to get used to the new living arrangements," Olivia says trying to sound positive so he doesn't feel disheartened by his sons' reaction.

"That's not what I meant," Elliot replies as looks at her. "He's not bothered by the divorce or me moving out. Just taking it in his stride."

Her teeth catch her lower lip and she grimaces when he notices. "What?" He asks.

Olivia releases her lower lip. "It sounds like he's acting like you," she replies honestly.

He physically balks at the idea and she regrets even broaching the subject. "What do you mean?"

"I guess I'm waiting for you to get angry," Olivia admits, dropping her voice while sparing a glance at the bar staff who have moved to the other end of the bar and out of ear shot. The bar isn't full; the nearest customers are in a booth along the wall behind them, absorbed in their own conversation. "Maybe Dickie is taking his cues from you," she adds softly.

"I'm trying not to be angry for that reason," Elliot exhales and relaxes as he understands what she's trying to say. He leans towards her. "Last time I was scared I was going to lose them as well as Kathy. I guess it's easier that they're older, they make their own decisions. They actually call _me_ to make plans and most of the time they don't even want to borrow money," he says in wonder and she indulges him with a laugh.

"They're great kids," she whispers.

"Maybe I didn't screw it all up after all," he muses with a proud smile.

" _You_ and Kathy did a good job," Olivia agrees. She hates it when he sells himself short.

"Yeah, we did," After that he's quiet for a long moment, his face slowly dropping as he becomes thoughtfully. "Kathleen said she was surprised we lasted as long as we did," he says quietly.

With that simple statement, Olivia feels out of the loop. They all knew, saw what she didn't, what she ignored. To be fair she isn't privy to all that went on in his home but there was no warning beyond her own words of caution when he bailed her out of Rikers, even then she thought there would have been some way he could fix this, promise it wouldn't happen again. It was the principle rather than the act, and she can't blame Kathy because this isn't the first time he shut her out. Hell, it's not even the second, third time he's done this. She remembers a conversation they had years ago, before his first separation, remembers telling him he would ruin the best thing that ever had if he kept everything to himself. And he did it again anyway.

"She's intuitive," Olivia comments.

"She speaks her mind," Elliot counters.

"Like her dad," Olivia replies without missing a beat. "Only you're not talking."

Olivia doesn't know if he would have told her about the divorce if she hadn't found him in the crib that night and she doubts he would've told Cragen if he didn't need to file a change of address with him. He's never going to be the type to have a divorce party or announce it, she would hate him if he was.

"What do you want me say?" He asks with a shrug. "Yeah, I'm upset we couldn't work things out but I realised out marriage wasn't a failure. We raised four kids who we're proud of and we're going to do our best to do the same with Eli. We don't hate each other and I would rather we separate before we do."

She feels sorry for him but she's also annoyed at him for being so calm about it. She hates that she was blindsided by all of this. But this isn't about her. She doesn't understand what he's going through or his reaction to it. She's never been married or tied to anyone beyond a pair of tickets. Well, Kurt asked her to move in with him but he was more invested in the relationship than she was. For her, he was someone to pass time with. He could talk for hours and it was easy to drown him out without him noticing, but she liked it because it was separate from the job. It was an anchor to the world and it made her feel somewhat normal. He treated her well and didn't probe about her job, she appreciated that. He was a nice guy but it was mundane.

She didn't tell anyone because she had doubts or because she knew it wouldn't last or because she was trying to find the right moment to break up with him; she didn't tell anyone because she's private. That's not to say she wouldn't mind talking to her friends about her dates or talking to her dates about her work but she's learnt not to. Most of her friends are cops or connected to her job in some way and are so jaded by it they can't help being protective despite knowing she can handle herself. And talking about her job to those she dates is a double edged sword and it either creeps them out or they end up asking question after question and then she ends up wondering why they're so fascinated. In the end, breaking up with Kurt hurt less than her private life being investigated and made public by IAB.

"Sounds enlightened," she murmurs and she hates herself for saying it and she expects Elliot to call her on it.

"I learnt a lot last time," he confirms staring at her pointedly. He's letting her off lightly. "I don't want to lose anyone this time." Maybe not.

Olivia shifts uncomfortably and sits back as she fights the urge to cross her arms over her chest. She stares back unable to drop his gaze. He counters by leaning toward her, dropping his voice lower. "We can talk about this all night but it's not going to change anything. I don't want this to change things between us."

"I just keep thinking if you hadn't put the house…" she tries to argue but he cuts her off with a wave of his hand.

"It would've happened anyway. It's not your fault," he promises. She hears his careful wording; he doesn't say there's no one to blame. There is. He's not letting that burden get to him because he's ready to move past this. She silently pledges to take his lead and do the same. She nods to accept his reasoning. "Good. Now can we move past this and also forget the fact that Babs Duffy was my rebound?" He says pointing at the screen over the bar where said red head prattles on about their most recent case.

The joke breaks the atmosphere and she laughs, loud and uncensored. His face lights up at her reaction and she finds herself leaning on the bar once again. "I'm not sure I can make that promise," she tells him with an easy smile. "I mean we weren't the only ones in the squad when she planted one on you."

Elliot groans and she laughs, quieter this time. "Are you ready to start dating?" She asks seriously. It may have been a flippant remark but it made her curious.

"I'm not looking for anything, but I'm not opposed to it," Elliot replies as he takes a swig from his bottle. "What about you?"

"What about me?"

"You asked me and I'm asking you," he says turning to face her. "You seeing anyone?"

"No," Olivia answers honestly, knows she can't refuse his tit-for-tat reason without making their conversation awkward. She won't elaborate; he doesn't expect her to either. Her mouth is suddenly dry and she takes a long drink from her beer.

"Do you have any plans tomorrow?"

Already rattled by their conversation, the question startles her and she coughs as she jolts the bottle by accident. "Excuse me?" She asks when the bottle is back on the bar and she reaches for her napkin to wipe her mouth.

"I didn't mean…" It's his turn to be embarrassed as he realises the connection she made. "I was wondering if you wanted to come over to see the apartment, you know have dinner as a thank you for letting me stay at yours."

She wipes the bar in front of her and the small drop she spilt. "You don't have to thank me Elliot."

"I want to." She's still reluctant. "Come on, you can't pass up a chance to make fun of my new place."

 **Author Note – this is going to be longer than I thought it would be.**


	4. Chapter 4

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished – chapter four

The next night, Olivia makes her way to the address Elliot gave her, not far from the one he had last time he and Kathy separated and the buildings are similar. She presses his buzzer. She doesn't have a long wait to hear the door unlock with loud ring without Elliot talking to her via the intercom. She walks up to the first floor and soon finds his door. It swings open before she can knock.

"Hi," Elliot breathes out as he holds the door open for her.

"You know, I wouldn't hear the end of it if I pulled that with the intercom," she jokes as she fixes him with an unimpressed head tilt.

"I was sorting out dinner," Elliot argues. "Besides, I'm not expecting anyone else."

"That's not the point," she retorts walking past him only to pause when she smells the food. "Did you already order?" She asks over her shoulder.

"No, I cooked," Elliot says and laughs when her mouth falls open comically. "Spaghetti."

"You're cooking?" Olivia asks with a teasing lilt, shrugging out of her jacket.

"Don't worry, it's not from a can. Kathy may have done most of the cooking but I'm not completely useless in the kitchen Liv," Elliot says with false offense. He holds his hand out for her light jacket and hangs it on the rack behind the door.

"That could mean anything, Elliot. For all I know, it could mean you're good at washing up," she fires back with a wide smile.

"Funny," Elliot mutters as he brushes past her to lead her down the hall. She has no choice but to follow. "You want the tour before or after we eat?"

"After, it smells good," she replies.

"Don't sound too surprised, Liv," Elliot chuckles, leading her down the hall, past three other closed doors and through the half open one at the end with the light on. Even though it's dark in the hall, she can make out the picture frames hanging on the walls. She doesn't try to discern the pictures as Elliot leads her into the open plan living room-kitchen.

"Smells good, do you need any help?"

"No, I've only got to cook the pasta and garlic bread," Elliot gestures to the table at the edge of the living room which was set for three. "Take a seat. What do you want a drink?"

"I'll have whatever you're having," she says as she sits in the chair nearest the living room.

Olivia watches him for a moment before letting her eyes roam around the open plan room. It was definitely bigger than his last apartment and no unpacked boxes sat in the corner of the room. It was light and plain; the curtains were beige with no pattern. An armchair, sofa and two bookcases are arranged around the other part of the room. Eli's toy box was in one corner, Elliot's TV in the other. It was neutral, nothing extravagant, nothing beyond what he needed. Elliot had already settled in, that much was clear, but she could understand why his daughters wanted to redecorate. To her, though, it suited Elliot. He was too function orientated to collect nick-knacks or let them to gather in his home, she doubted he would ever have anything other than pictures of the children or their drawings and stuff they make at school for him. At the moment they take up space on the bookcases, and probably the lining in the hall, and she expects more to be put up on the walls in the near future. Olivia also knew he would probably let his daughters do what they wanted within reason if it made them more comfortable in his new apartment.

"What are you thinking about?" Elliot asks as he places a glass of wine in front of her.

"Thanks," Olivia says as she clasps the stem tentatively between her thumb and forefinger. "I was trying to imagine what the girls are going to do with this place."

Elliot lets out a nervous laugh and looks around the room. "They haven't filled me in on their plans yet."

She watches his face as he turns back to her. "You don't care, do you?"

He smiles, wide and uncensored. "Not really, as long as I can spend time with them and I've got somewhere to sleep, they can do what they want."

Olivia nods her head thoughtfully. "You're a good dad."

"I just want an easy life. Do you know what it's like to have an argument with all three of them at the same time?"

"I imagine it's a lot like arguing with you," she retorts with a raised eyebrow.

"Funny," Elliot deadpans again. His neutral expression slowly gives way to a smirk before he lifts his glass to take a sip, then places it in front of the chair opposite hers. "I'm gonna bring the food over."

He quickly retrieves the food and sits opposite her, placing the garlic bread and grated cheese in between them. Olivia sniffs appreciatively and picks up her fork. She prods the pasta with, curiously looking at the finely chopped vegetables in the sauce.

"It's not poison, Liv," Elliot chuckles.

Her eyes rise to meet his and wrinkles her nose. "I know, just trying to figure out what's in the sauce. Got good knife skills."

"I started doing that because of Dickie. None of the girls were fussy, but he wouldn't eat his vegetables, we chopped them tiny so he wouldn't realise he was eating them."

Olivia accepts his explanation with a nod, noting the thoughtful look in his eyes. Mindful of his gaze, obviously waiting for her approval, she dips her fork into the pile of spaghetti, twisting it to secure some strands between the throngs. She lifts it higher and continues to wind the pasta so she can lift it to her mouth without it falling. She chews and swallows. "It's good."

His lip cocks to the side briefly to silently accept her appreciation and tucks into his own pasta. "Not what you expected?"

"No," she says honestly, snagging a piece of bread. "I figured we would order in."

"I thought this would be a nice change."

"Don't get me wrong, it is. Just a surprise is all," she explains. She doesn't add it's oddly intimate and it's making her slightly uncomfortable. Hence her attempts to cover it with jibes.

"Good surprise?"

 **Author Note – I know, it's been a while. And I know it's short. If you want more, drop a few words in the box below, I will be very grateful.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Author Note – Sorry for any confusion, I deleted the original chapter five. It didn't work and was rushed. I started working on chapter six and found it hard to continue from where I left it. I haven't gotten rid of all it, I've rewritten some so you may recognise parts of. I would like to apologise to those who took the time to read and review the original chapter – thank you for your thoughts and I hope you enjoy this as much if not more.**

 **Also just in case they never saw this before I took it down, to answer the guest reviewer who noticed the third dinner setting in the fourth chapter, I originally wanted to include Eli. The kid's cute but he was making the scene more complicated than Olivia and Elliot ever could so I cut him and missed that detail about his place setting when I read through. In the end I thought it was simpler and flowed better without him. I apologise for missing it, thanks for telling me.**

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished – chapter five

" _A good surprise?"_

"Yes."

Olivia tries to say it without betraying her thoughts. She is enjoying the evening, the food, his company. She always does. And as always there is a fine line they edge along when they're together. It haunts them, one minute they're joking, the next they're aware of how close they are to crossing it. So far she considers them lucky this is the first time she's felt it since his separation from Kathy. While they don't always confront each other, they are always aware of any tension. As Olivia is the one affected it's up to Elliot to deal with it, defuse the situation, bring them back. He can confront it, that rarely works out well for them, or he can take her answer at face value and ignore it, their tried and trusted method of resolution. It's useless to try to avoid him so she meets his gaze, half daring, half begging as she tears a chunk of bread off the slice she snagged and pops it into her mouth, chewing thoroughly while Elliot studies her much like he would a suspect in interrogation, the knot of tension in the pit of her stomach tightens the longer he does.

"But?"

 _Damn._

Olivia drops the pretence and swallows the bread. She clears her throat with a soft cough. "Do you know what people assume?"

"I don't care about what people assume," Elliot says earnestly. "I care if you make the same assumptions."

She feels the need to avert her gaze, she doubts he would let her. He's developed an annoying habit of being uncharacteristically open on the spur of the moment, sharing what she was already aware of, especially about the separation. It doesn't faze him like it does her. His frank honesty combined with his nonchalant attitude concerns her above everything else. For all the assurances Elliot gives her, she still feels guilty for being the catalyst. Actually they make her feel worse and she tries harder to hide her feelings.

"It's not the assumptions, it's the guilt," she mutters as she folds her arms over her chest.

"About what?"

If she didn't know better, she would think he had no idea what she was talking about. But she does know better and so does he.

"Stop being an ass, you know what I'm talking about," she huffs.

"I do," Elliot admits, abandoning his innocent tone. "Would you feel better if I tell you Kathy and I didn't break up because of my feelings for you? That's not what this is about."

Not completely, but it helps. Ignoring his admission, in her opinion reciprocating can only make this conversation worse, she replies, "I know this sounds strange, and I have no right to feel this way, but I'm not ready to move on."

"You're not the only one, Liv," Elliot agrees. "It's hard, you know? I'm trying to convince everyone I'm okay with all of this but I can barely bring myself to take my ring off." She automatically eyes his wedding finger, finding it bare for the first time since he announced Kathy was divorcing him. Her eyes trace the small indent at the base of his finger, noting the faint tan line. Noticing her appraisal, Elliot flexes it self-consciously and tucks it under his arm, hiding it from her. "It's been easier to take it off at home, I don't associate this apartment with my family. It's weird trying to work without it," he explains.

"You've been wearing it so long, it must seem like part of the uniform," Olivia replies.

"It does," he replies with a small smile. "I'm sorry about tonight. I was trying to show you how much I appreciated your support, I wasn't trying to…" He waves his hand between them and the table.

"I know you weren't, Elliot," she sighs. "Do you think I'm over-reacting?"

"I think we won't finish the tour of the apartment," he mumbles with a quick smirk, with the hope of eliciting a smile, any reaction from Olivia. Nothing. The smirk drops as he clears his throat with a cough. "You have every right to be worried, I'm worried too. But I think you're worrying about things before they become an issue."

"They've always been an issue," Olivia admits quietly. "Or at least they have been since Oregon."

"I thought we got past them."

"Barely, Elliot," Olivia reminds him, her voice strained, her eyes prickling. It's an emotional response triggered by the memory of that time. She blinks twice to hold them at bay.

"We both remember what happened, neither of us want it to happen again but I think we're stronger now because of it."

He isn't dismissing what happened, far from it. He's too uncomfortable discussing the aftermath of that time which is why she isn't surprised that he focuses on the outcome rather than the how it was achieved when she talks about it. He glosses that part over; she's helped him do that. They worked hard to find a good balance after she came back. It took a long time but he's right, they are stronger now for overcoming it.

"There were times when I thought we wouldn't get through it," Olivia admits softly. "It's why I left."

Part of her gave up on their partnership. She didn't think there was a way to resolve it especially with how stubborn they are. It felt like they failed. They blamed each other, they were angry and disappointed and unwilling to back down. They needed time and distance because facing each other every day was making it worse even with their best intention to work through their problems. It didn't take her long to realise she missed him and their dynamic. It was an instant connection, one neither appreciated till they nearly lost it. Even when they weren't at their best, he still knew her better than anyone else. Sheer determination saw them through it.

"I came back because I wanted to," Olivia adds softly.

"It wasn't because you needed to come back to SVU?"

"There are other precincts besides Manhattan," she points out shuffling closer to the edge of her chair, to the table, to Elliot.

"You can't blame me for having doubts, Liv." She winces at his neutral tone, masking the tiredness this conversation always brings. It deflates them and seems impossible to even consider for them. Neither of them are willing to negotiate an ending which jeopardises their work, their partnership.

"You can't blame me either," Olivia counters. She's not only talking about the past.

"I don't," he sighs and leans in to copy her. "I'm trying to do things differently."

"That's the problem."

"Why?"


	6. Chapter 6

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished – chapter six

" _Why?"_

"You sound like Eli," Olivia says as lightly as possible in hopes of distracting him.

"I keep wondering where he gets it from," Elliot clicks his fingers dramatically and plays into it with a sarcastic tone. Her heart drops as she registers his accompanying grimace. "Stop changing the subject."

"We do that a lot, don't we?" Her rhetoric question is meant as an apology she's relieved when he accepts it with a slight nod of his head. "Don't you feel pressured by all of this?"

That catches his curiosity and his lifts his head up a little higher, staring her straight in eye as he asks, "What do you mean?"

Her tongue sweeps along the inside of the lower lip to moisten it. "The expectation that we will," she pauses as she figures out a way of explaining her fear. "Act on our feelings if you ever got divorced."

He has no response for that but she can see the understanding in his eyes. "Back to the assumptions, huh?" Elliot quips with a shake of his head and looks away quickly.

Her lips curl upward but the humour isn't reflected in her eyes. "You may not care about them but we don't do anything to stop them, if anything we make them worse."

Elliot's head whips back around to face her, fixing her with a questioning look, almost daring her to explain, warning her not to. She will anyway, undeterred by his refusal acknowledge her honesty. The shift in their roles had been a ploy at first, a way to get him to stop being so open with her, but she needs to cut this off now before they made a mistake. Because that's what it would be; a mistake. No matter what they felt, no matter what happened after tonight, one day his conscience would give way to the guilt she knew he was hiding deep down, she has no doubt of that. She won't allow that anger to eat away at him.

"You made a huge gesture and there is no way I could ever repay you," she explains in a softer tone, leaning in a tad.

"You would've done the same for me," Elliot argues, clearly trying to hide his frustration behind his impassioned reasoning. She inclined her head knowingly, agreeing with him and trying to convey her sympathy because he was right. If their roles had been reversed, she would have done anything she could to help him, even dipping into the inheritance her mother left her.

"And that's the point, we do things for each other that other partners don't."

"That's bull and you know it. Munch and Fin would do it for each other," he defends automatically.

"They're different," Olivia replies with a slanted smile at the mention of their co-workers. Yes, they would do that for each other, they were unlikely best friends, but they were still a tiny exception in the police force.

"Not really," Elliot says without much conviction just unwilling to concede her point.

She humours him with an amused huff. "That's just something we tell ourselves to make it easier to ignore how we are."

"And how we are?" He scowls.

The scowl is the last straw for her. "Stop pretending to be oblivious, I know you're not. Would you bail out any of your other partners if they were remanded to Rikers?"

He doesn't reply but the scowl remains in place. His silence is all she needs to push forward. She needs him to admit why before they deal with it. "What makes me different?"

To his credit, Elliot barely reacts beyond a twitch in his cheek to her follow up question and answers the first. "I would've tried to help them."

Olivia knows he would have. She remembers when he tried to help his beat partner's kid when he attacked his friend in a steroid fuelled rage. She also remembers the pain he experienced when they discovered it was his partner who pushed the steroids on his son. It took a toll on him, adding to the turmoil he was already experiencing during the first divorce.

"But yeah, I would've done more for you if I had to," he admits quietly. "Why does that scare you so much?" He tacks on the question casually the significance barely registers as it takes her moment to process it.

"It seems so final." She doesn't get the chance to expand on her reasoning because for some reason he finds he answer funny, a quick chuckle escapes his mouth. He doesn't apologise when he looks at her when she folds her arms across her chest.

"Knew you were afraid of commitment," he murmurs and in spite of herself she cracks a smile. "Why else would you still be single?"

The compliment is tempered by the teasing but it touches her regardless as she drops the smile. It's not the first time he's said something like that to her and the feelings it evokes shake her and only serve to reinforce her stance on their argument.

"I thought we established I was married to the job," she tells him, reminding him of the conversation they had days ago.

"We never reached an agreement."

"We never do."

"Is that going to be the case here?"

She pauses at the relenting tone, his eyes begging her to take pity on him, on them. She wonders what answer he wants, the one he expects or the one he needs to hear. They can't keep going around in circles.

"Why did you make me dinner tonight?" Olivia asks gesturing to the forgotten plates of half-finished pasta covered in the delicious sauce Elliot made. "The real reason, not the one you think I need to hear," she adds when he opens his mouth to repeat the same words he said before.

"I wanted to show you I was settling in, that I was coping," he replies. "And I wanted to impress you with my cooking."

"You did," she cuts in with a nod at the food. "Are you coping?"

"I am," he confirms with a nod. "There's no else to blame but myself and that's easier to deal with because you're sitting next to me instead of some cell in Rikers."

 **More?**


	7. Chapter 7

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished – chapter seven

"Sometimes I get the impression you would have preferred that."

Olivia wrinkles her nose at his acute assessment of her. He's right, of course. It isn't the first time the thought has crossed her mind. Nor was it the first time she's second guessed the reasoning behind that thought. "We all have to make choices, they all come with a price."

"Why do I get the feeling this one is going to end up costing me more than my marriage?" Elliot asks. She doesn't answer, not because she doesn't know the answer. She does. Her silence tells him everything she's been trying to put into words but failed miserably. "I would do it again," Elliot clarifies.

"I know," she whispers. "That doesn't stop me feeling like this."

"Why are you surprised I did this for you?"

She sits back. It wasn't something she considered before. She looks at the table, this will be easier if she doesn't acknowledge his soft, encouraging gaze focused on her. He waits quietly and she misses the sound of his voice because she's taking too long to come up with an answer. Time continues to pass and he waits without prodding, without pressing her for an answer. She chances a sideways glance at him and he's still staring at her intently, his face a mask of patience. Most people see his impulsive frustration, not many consider or are even privy to this side of him. The tolerant one, the one he rarely shows anyone, the one he hides except from his children, from her. The one that will sit with through the night with a screaming Eli after he's pulled a double at work. The one that will play the long game when waiting for a perp to confess, he knows when to push and when not to.

"No one's ever put me first," she says finally refusing to look at him when she does. She picks at an imaginary piece of flint on her jeans. She runs her hand over the fabric, smoothing it. Her hand stops at her knee. And then she looks up, meeting his eyes.

"You never expected anyone to," Elliot replies softly, almost as if he's apologising for it as if he was somehow responsible for it.

"You never should have."

He lets out the groan she's been waiting for and slumps in his chair. "Are we going to keep coming back to this?" Olivia knows it's frustrating and she's about to explain when he continues. "I didn't see this as a risk."

"Risk means change, you decided to change things between us."

"Nothing has changed."

"Hasn't it?" Olivia asks. She stands, pushing her chair out from beneath her as she retreats into the other part of the living area. Nervous energy propels her to keep moving, pacing the width of the room. Elliot follows and stays at the border he created with the sofas, watching her.

"It wasn't my intention," he promises quietly.

"Did you even think of the consequences apart from getting me out of there?"

"Not really," he shrugs.

"That's my point!" Olivia exclaims lifting her hands to her head to calm the sudden pounding. They barely touch her skin when she realises what she's doing. She whirls on him, one hand waving at him. "You never think about what will happen, all you ever think about-"

"All I think about?" Elliot growls back as he moves into the space with her, stopping in front of her, blocking her pacing. "I thought about what the other inmates would do to you when they realised you were a cop. Langer may be good, but even he wouldn't be able to swing solitary to protect you. Do you ever think about what would happen to me if they got to you in there?"

Neither talk for a long moment, their heavy breathing filling the silence as they hold each other's stare. There's the ire she's been waiting for, the spark in his eyes flares for a second before it disappears. She misses it the moment it is gone.

"If you had died," the words catch in the back of his throat as he swallows heavily. His eyes cloud over, his head drops forward, stopping just shy of her forehead. "I wouldn't have been able to be keep up the pretence with Kathy."

"You don't mean that," Olivia presses on. His head falls another fraction and the warmth seeping off of him surprises her. He spent so long denying it, his confession doesn't bring the relief she needs.

"Yeah I do," Elliot replies breathily. "Either way, I would've pushed her away."

"I'm not a fall back," she pushes away from him, gaining some distance as she retreats to the edge of the room. He follows.

"I never said that either, don't put words in my mouth."

"I can't do this," Olivia declares with a shake of her head.

"Can't do what?" He sounds genuinely curious.

Was is it selfish to worry about becoming person he relies on for emotional and professional stability? In the past she relied on Kathy to provide some of that for him, she doubts she's capable of doing that for herself let alone another. It's not that she thinks Elliot is dependent on her, he does, however, need them to be on an even keel.

"I can't be the one who replaces Kathy," she rasps.

"I'm not asking you to be," he promises. "I know you find it difficult to accept that I did this for you and I know you would never be able to accept any change to our relationship because of that."

"What?" Her question sounds tiny and she holds her breath as she waits for his answer.

Elliot looks uncertain for a moment before his hand boldly reaches for her face. His fingers brush her cheek as he cups her jaw. They thread through her hair and his thumb strokes her skin. He doesn't step further into her space or making any move to kiss her. She doesn't know what she would do if he did. She doesn't know if she wants to find out. He stares at her for a long beat, studying, relishing as if this will be the only time.

"I knew you would never be comfortable with acting on our attraction because I sacrificed my relationship with Kathy for you. I never realised I would have sacrifice you too when I bailed you out." He rests his forehead against hers. "That is my only regret."

THE END

 **Author Note – Don't kill me for that ending, heed the title of this fic. Sorry, it was a bit of a tease. I wanted to say thank you for the lovely reviews, you're all wonderful. Just to let you guys know I'm taking a break from SVU fanfic, I've got some ideas for other fandoms. I will be back but I need to explore those ideas first (one is close to my heart and six months in the making). I love you all and have never known a more accepting group of people. Feel free to send me a PM or find me on twitter if you follow me there.**


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